The critical eye

The one with the critical eye robs themselves of peace.

The Christmas lights finally light. Clark gathers the family in snow covered front yard to see the beautiful display. He has labored in the cold, struggled with the power system, and finally, finally, the lights are on full display in all their glory.

The family supports Clark. His wife is glowing with happiness for her husband. The kids are proud of Dad. Then, Clark approaches Art, his father-in-law.

“The little lights aren’t twinkling.”

Ever had this happen? The joy of the moment is destroyed by the critical comment. The critical eye steps in and sucks the joy out of the remove. 

The victory happens and there is one that remembers the defeat that occurred last year. The sell is closed, but the win is overshadowed by one that remembers the previous miss. The “A” is made on the test, but that “D” in the other class erases any room for celebration.

The faults, the mistakes, the miscues, the errors live forever on the resume to the one with the critical eye. An individual is put in a silo over one failed attempt, one miss, by the critical eye. One’s story is already written by the the one that looks for faults. In their eyes, the scarlet letter must be worn forever. “Remember when” is at the tip of the tongue of the critic.

We are all guilty by the way. We all remember faults of others. We all have pre-conceived notions based on past misses. We know who you are by the mistakes you made. And maybe the worst happens when we criticize behind closed doors. This is how rumors are started, unity is destroyed, false narratives take root.

But, grace.

Grace covers. Grace soothes. Grace brings peace. Grace drives unity. Grace delivers water to dry land. Grace removes negativity with a positive word, an encouraging thought, an emphasis on the win, the victory.

In a sometimes down world, grace brings another up. 

Be the leader that leads with grace at the tip of your tongue. Be the parent that encourages the child before dropping them off at school. Be the spouse that remembers the good of their partner over the gap.

The ironic thing is that when you lead and live with grace, personal fulfillment and peace ensue. If I make a habit of forgiving and forgetting, internal pressure is removed. If I build another up after a miss, I walk away with joy. If I point out the positives versus the negatives, life is a lot more fun.

Grace is a gift to be given for sure, but it also may be the best gift you can give yourself. 

Live with grace today.