Time (a message to parents)

Number two is headed to college in the coming weeks, and it hits again.

The realization that time together is brief.

• The regular dinner conversations slow down.
• The face-to-face advice, now limited.
• The hugs, no longer daily.
• The nicknames or personal sayings you have for each other, now sent via text.
• The dumb dad jokes have no ears to receive.
• The in-person celebrations of victories, fewer.
• The long discussions during the tough times, mostly by phone now.
• The silly dancing, no more.
• The cheerleading from the stands, all over.
• The vacation drives in the car, full of excitement, drawing to a close.
• The busyness, the hustling and bustling around town, now calm.
• The beautiful noise in the house, none to be found.
• The sounds of the kids hanging together, laughing together, arguing, not any anymore.
• The Sunday morning rides to church, finished.
• The Sunday lunches as a family, over.

You receive advice as young parents to slow down, to enjoy every moment, and you certainly do your best. But, there is no way to understand the magnitude of the advice, and there is no way to slow the clock down.

David understood how fast life was going by and described life as “fleeting.”

“Show me, Lord, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.” Psalm 39:4

As parents, it is extremely difficult to grasp the speed of life. We are running fast and, before you know it, one-by-one, the kids walk out of the front door on their life journey. You stand in the drive way, waving good bye, wondering where the time went.

Goodbyes are never fun.

Jesus knew about goodbyes. In fact, we learn a lot about Christ in his goodbye moments.

When Jesus was arrested, Peter denied knowing Him, fearing for his life. As Jesus is being publicly beaten and ridiculed, there is a moment in the courtyard. If you read the Bible fast, you will miss it. The courtyard is crowded. Chaos is around Jesus, as people are cursing, beating, and spitting on him.

Having just acted like he didn’t know his friend, Peter helplessly watches the scene from the distance, across the courtyard. Then it happens. In the midst of the craziness, Jesus locks eyes with Peter (Luke 22:61). Imagine the penetrating look from Christ. Peter looks into the eyes of the friend he had traveled with for three years. They had fished together, laughed together, cried together. And, Peter couldn’t handle it. He ran away crying. Peter’s seemingly goodbye to Christ left a deep feeling of his betrayal. He had to be depressed, upset, sick at his stomach.

So, I wonder what was going on in the mind of Jesus when he locked eyes with Peter? I think we are given a clue in Mark 16:7.

When Mary walks to the tomb, she is amazed to see it empty. Christ had risen, and Mary is the first to realize it. An angel tells Mary to “go tell the disciples and Peter.” And Peter! Did you catch that? The only disciple that the angel called out by name is Peter! The one who had betrayed Jesus.

Think about the heart of Christ. The last time that Jesus saw Peter, he was defeated, empty. Jesus knew the magnitude of that goodbye and the pain that his friend was in. So, Jesus wanted Mary to deliver the message that He had risen uniquely to Peter, as if to say, “it is okay, my friend.” In this goodbye moment, we see the grace of Jesus.

In another goodbye moment, Jesus is dying on the cross, staring at his mom in complete anguish. In this moment of pain, Jesus looks at John and told him to care for her (John 19:26,27). After having been through complete turmoil, about to breath his last breath, Jesus’ thoughts are on his mom. He wanted to make sure she was cared for by John. This goodbye shows the caring heart of Christ.

But, the greatest goodbye from Jesus was the care he took when he was leaving the disciples. Jesus leaves a Helper to be with them forever.

“And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever,” John 14:16 ESV

And, Jesus goes so far as saying it is good if he leaves, because the Helper will come.

“Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.” John 16:7 ESV

A truth in Scripture is that the Holy Spirit indwells in those that have faith in Jesus. The Bible tells us that the Holy Spirit is our Counselor, our Helper, convicts us of wrongdoing, and with us forever. This is how Jesus is able to say in Matthew 28:20 that he will be with us “always to the end of the world.” This is possible through the Holy Spirit. Jesus in us.

The Holy Spirit is paramount to goodbyes. The Holy Spirit allows you to find joy in the goodbyes to your kids. Dad can not, will not, always be with them. But, the Holy Spirit is with them, always available, loving, guiding, convicting, helping them on their journey. And, Dad pales in comparison to what they have in the Holy Spirit.

As a parent, you will never love the Holy Spirit like you do when your child walks out that door. You can’t go with them, but their Friend, their Counselor will be there always. The One which can protect, guide, listen, comfort, and direct will be forever with them.

The Holy Spirit provides an Anchor for their soul as they journey, but also an Anchor for Dad’s soul as he waves goodbye, cheering them on.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 3 John 1:4

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