A Message for Imperfect Dads on Father’s Day

Father’s Day. A day to honor dads. Everywhere you look today, you will see messages about the perfect dad. It is an awesome thing to celebrate dads, and so needed. But, every dad that reads those messages about themselves or others, recognizes their own personal gaps. No matter how proud, they recognize the imperfections. They know deep down that they are an imperfect dad.

I wrote extensively about my dad in The Anchor. I also wrote about my wife’s dad. With both of them passed away, I wanted my kids to have a picture of their life for their children. They were both great men, different stories, different backgrounds, with sacrificial love for their kids. Were they perfect men, perfect husbands, perfect dads? Nope.

And, so it is with me. And, so it is with every dad in the world. The best dad has gaps, holes in their role as a father, as a husband, that simply can’t be filled with any work, deed, job, money, anything that the world has to offer. Today, culture, social media, the world will celebrate seemingly “perfect” dads. This is a great practice and recognition, so know that I am not against Father’s Day. But, imagine the pressure or hurt that is emphasized to those without a dad. Or, the hurt that is emphasized to the dad that is in a place of discouragement, suddenly comparing themselves to those “perfect dads.”

The truth is that no dad is perfect. Despite the messages, every dad would whole-heartedly agree that they have gaps. Let this be an encouragement to any dad thinking they have missed it or any child wishing they had that dad they see on social media. There is no perfect dad. All are imperfect.

I suppose the perfect dad would offer perpetual encouragement, safety, and love through eternity. As a dad, I know all too well how much I can’t control. This reality hit me in the face when my then 8-year-old daughter called me frantically, in my wife’s car, in the middle of a raging storm, with 100 mile-an-hour winds howling in the background. She exclaimed, “Dad, am I going to die?”

I replied with what any dad would say at that moment, “You are going to be fine,” knowing full well that I did not know. I had no control. Rarely do I. I am imperfect. Despite my best efforts, at the end of the day, I have no control.

Not sure where you are on your journey right now, but pretty sure you woke up like me, reflecting on your dad and your role as a dad. Don’t measure yourself against the non-existent “perfect” dad. It is a fallacy. This day has a tendency to emphasize gaps.

So, I wanted to give a quick message to those like me, imperfect dads. Those that have gaps. Those that do not measure up. Those that think they have run out of time or think it is too late to amend previous mistakes in their role as a father.

Every dad has gaps. Some gaps may be a little wider or more emphasized, sure, but make no mistake, we are all the same. We don’t measure up. I think this is the truth that dads, kids, the world, needs to hear.

As you sit this morning, measuring your life against others, there is only one solution. I am not going to get overly spiritual, saying I have the answers. I don’t. No one does. Just read John 1.

So, this morning on Father’s Day, recognize imperfections that we all have. And, know that it is never too late to finish strong. Use your imperfections as a transparent example pointing those you love to the perfect Dad.

In fact, maybe the best a dad can do is to point those he loves to the perfect Dad? It is never too late for that.

Impact others. Live generously.

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