I am not worthy

Jacob was the grandson of Abraham, the son of Isaac, one who received the covenant directly from God. As you read about the life of Jacob, God consistently surrounds him.

In Genesis 32, we find Jacob in a state of fear over his life. He ran to his Anchor in prayer. Toward the beginning of his prayer, Jacob makes this statement to God:

I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant. Genesis 32:11

Jacob tells God that he is not worthy of the mercy he has received. If you know the story of Jacob, you can understand why he would make this statement. One word describes his early life – deception. He deceived his dad, his brother, and his father-in-law for personal gain. He cheated and lied his way to wealth. Jacob confronted God, knowing his past, full of humility, knowing that he did not deserve mercy.

Jacob’s life is a picture of the way followers approached God in the Bible, full of humility. Without fail, all felt the same as Jacob, “I am not worthy.”

Take Moses. When first approached by God, the Bible says “At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.” When God tells him what he wants him to do, Moses says, “Who am I that I should go?” Why would Moses say this? Because he knew his past. He had murdered a man.

How about Paul? He was miraculously approached by God, changing his life. Here’s what Paul said about his life:

 “‘Lord,’ I replied, ‘these people know that I went from one synagogue to another to imprison and beat those who believe in you.  And when the blood of your martyr Stephen was shed, I stood there giving my approval and guarding the clothes of those who were killing him.’ Acts 22:19-20

When God came to Paul, knowing his past, Paul was bewildered. He was insinuating, “who am I to go tell others about God?”

Perhaps the greatest picture of this humility can be found in Isaiah 6, where we see Isaiah approaching the throne of God.

“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.” Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:5-8

Isaiah approaches God full of humility, finding himself unworthy. God forgives his sin, takes away his guilt. At this, Isaiah is compelled to follow Him, to go on God’s behalf. In a few verses, Isaiah is flipped from, “I am not worthy,” to “Here I am send me.”

When one understands who they are as a human, there is only one response when approaching a holy God – “Who am I?”

When one understands the grace of God in their life, there is only one response when approaching a holy God – “Here I am send me.”

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