“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.” Matthew 23:25-28

Jesus is speaking to the scribes and Pharisees, but he also speaking to us all today.

The scribes and Pharisees were the religious ones of the day. They knew the commandments, the law, and they were great at pointing out when others broke the words of God. Jesus said, on many occasions, how they glorified themselves among man. They wanted others to recognize them, bow down to them. They took the best seats at the banquet, they said long prayers in public, and tried their best to appear worthy of man’s praise. Jesus counseled people not to mirror their lives.

I write the following in first person, as I don’t want any perception of being immune. I have the desire to appear buttoned-up. In fact, as I shared my story, written in the book The Anchor, with one of my teenage daughters, they said, “Dad, you always seem so buttoned up.” Exact quote.

This is true. I want others to see that I have it all together, figured out. When people look at me, my life, my marriage, my kids, anything about me, I desire them to see a life that should be followed, admired, modeled, glorified. I think my daughter nailed it when she described me as appearing “buttoned-up.” Well, surprise, but none of that is true. If you read The Anchor, you know this about me. But, that doesn’t stop me from packing my briefcase this morning, heading out the door, putting on my best buttoned-up self, and greeting the world with the words, “I have it all together. Life is perfect.”

No doubt, we live in a buttoned-up society.

Social media feeds the buttoned-up ego. I constantly see my teenage daughters having to face everyone’s best on social media. The intense pressure of comparing their lives to the made-up lives that they see on-line is constant. They must appear as buttoned-up as everyone else. And, who can blame them.? Why wouldn’t you publish the best stories, the coolest pictures, the greatest times for the world to see? It is interesting that there seems to be a trend during the pandemic where people are taking a break from social media.

As social media goes, so goes every area of life. For example, take church. The desire is for others to recognize us. We desire to be knowledgeable, always present (every time the church doors are open), and constantly serving. A buttoned-up church goer. And work, we desire to be crazy busy, always winning, better than our fellow man, and we desire for everyone to notice our accomplishments. A buttoned-up employee. Or, take a parent. We want to be known as the best, acknowledged for how we manage our family, our kids, our house, our material possessions. A buttoned-up parent.

Back to the words of Jesus to the scribes and Pharisees. He said, “For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.”

See the similarities? It’s okay. We are all in the same boat.

But, also notice what Jesus says, showing His compassion.

“How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” Matthew 23:37

He loves. Jesus was willing, but they were not willing to turn to Him. It was as if the pressures of their society calling them to be buttoned-up was greater than the realization they had gaps in their life and needed a Savior.

Real, transparent lives make others feel secure enough to be real and transparent. Buttoned-up lives put pressure on others to be buttoned-up. It is a choice. Lose the buttons.

Impact others. Live generously.

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